Original 'virus' message:

Someone is sending out a very desirable screen-saver, a Bug's Life - "BUGGLST.ZIP". If you downloadit, you will lose everything!!! Your hard drive will crash and someone from the Internet will get your screen name and password! DO NOT DOWNLOAD THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!

IT JUST WENT INTO circulation yesterday, as far as we know. Please distribute/inform this message. This is a new, very malicious virus and not many people know about it. This information was announced yesterday morning from Microsoft. Please share it with everyone tha might access the Internet. Also do not open or even look at any mail that says "RETURNED OR UNABLE TO DELIVER". This virus will attach itself to your computer components and render them useless. Immediately delete mail items that say this. AOL has said that this is a very dangerous virus and that there is NO remedy for it at this time. Spoken from one who had a "Vicadin virus" recently.

Mike's Rant:

OK, most of you on this list don't know me, but I felt this was important enough to reply to all. Here goes. Ahem.

IT'S A HOAX!!!! It's not even a particularly imaginative one. I don't expect you to take my word for it. Search the net. I searched AOL NetFind for 'BUGGLST' and found 6 entries, every one of which went to an anti-virus hoax page. Please don't send these 'warnings' out and justify the pathetic life of whoever wrote it (who will henceforth be referred to as 'the moron.') Do a little research first.

The 2 best places to start are: The Computer Incident Advisory Capability (CIAC), U.S. Department of Energy and The Computer Virus Myths Home Page. If you do nothing else, go to the CIAC page and at the bottom read the 'How to Identify a Hoax' part. Heck, read it here. It's only 3 paragraphs and it works for other hoaxes too (think Neiman Marcus Cookie Recipe.) Try to count how many warning flags match the moron's 'virus' message:

How to Identify a Hoax

There are several methods to identify virus hoaxes, but first consider what makes a successful hoax on the Internet. There are two known factors that make a successful virus hoax, they are: (1) technical sounding language, and (2) credibility by association. If the warning uses the proper technical jargon, most individuals, including technologically savy individuals, tend to believe the warning is real. For example, the Good Times hoax says that "...if the program is not stopped, the computer's processor will be placed in an nth-complexity infinite binary loop which can severely damage the processor...". The first time you read this, it sounds like it might be something real. With a little research, you find that there is no such thing as an nth-complexity infinite binary loop and that processors are designed to run loops for weeks at a time without damage.

When we say credibility by association we are referring to whom sent the warning. If the janitor at a large technological organization sends a warning to someone outside of that organization, people on the outside tend to believe the warning because the company should know about those things. Even though the person sending the warning may not have a clue what he is talking about, the prestige of the company backs the warning, making it appear real. If a manager at the company sends the warning, the message is doubly backed by the company's and the manager's reputations.

Individuals should also be especially alert if the warning urges you to pass it on to your friends. This should raise a red flag that the warning may be a hoax. Another flag to watch for is when the warning indicates that it is a Federal Communication Commission (FCC) warning. According to the FCC, they have not and never will disseminate warnings on viruses. It is not part of their job.

How many warning flags did you come up with? I see, lemmesee now... All of them!!! Except maybe that 'proper technical jargon' one. The moron made that one kind of low-tech with 'Your hard drive will crash and someone from the Internet will get your screen name and password!'

The reason that I said it wasn't imaginative is because of the following hoax that began circulating over 2 years ago. It might look a little familiar (BTW, I got this from the CIAC page):

Bud Frogs Screen Saver

DANGER!!! VIRUS ALERT!!!

THIS IS A NEW TWIST. SOME CREEPOID SCAM-ARTIST IS SENDING OUT A VERY DESIRABLE SCREEN-SAVER (THE BUD FROGS). BUT IF YOU DOWN-LOAD IT, YOU'LL LOSE EVERYTHING!!!!! YOUR HARD DRIVE WILL CRASH!!

DON'T DOWNLOAD THIS UNDER ANY CIRCUMSTANCES!!!

IT JUST WENT INTO CIRCULATION YESTERDAY, AS FAR AS WE KNOW....BE CAREFUL.

PLEASE DISTRIBUTE TO AS MANY PEOPLE AS POSSIBLE...THANX

BELOW IS WHAT THE SCREENSAVER PROGGIE WOULD LOOK LIKE!

File: BUDSAVER.EXE (24643 bytes)
DL Time (28800 bps): < 1 minute

Now read the BUGGLST version again.... Can you say "cut and paste?" I knew you could! Plus, if he'd actually HAD a 'Vicadin' virus recently, he might know that it's spelled 'Vicodin.' Moron.

Well thanks for listening to my rants. Or, if your attention span isn't what it used to be, thanks for giving me an opportunity to talk behind your back.

Tune in next week when our topic will be 'Your versus You're: A First Grade Primer,' and our guests will include John Calvin, famous French theologian and reformer, and Thomas Hobbes, the famous English philosopher.